10 ways to stay happy when travelling Solo - Becca Warner
How I stay sane and safe on the
road.
I recently wrote a post called ‘Why I
travel solo’. In it, I talk about being scared, lost, uncomfortable and
vulnerable — and how important this is for living fully.
I continue to hear from budding
travellers saying they’re thinking about taking off their own but are too
afraid, or that they recently booked a trip alone that they’re now dreading.
Over the years, I’ve figured out how
to ease the discomfort and minimise the vulnerability — never banishing either,
but finding small ways to feel grounded so I can make the most of being in a
new place alone.
Below is a summary of my responses to
the various questions and comments that were sent my way. While they don’t
guarantee complete sanity and safety, I’m sharing them here in case they’ll be
of use to other solo travellers—first-timers and veterans alike. And I’d love
to hear your tips — scroll down to leave a comment.
First up: some super basic,
‘just-do-this-if-nothing-else’ safety groundrules. Because part of being happy
is being in one piece.
1. Keep
security simple.
Contrary to what might seem sensible,
it’s wise not to chain/wire/padlock your rucksack up within an inch of its
life. It makes it look like you’ve got good stuff in there, which you ideally
haven’t. Leave expensive stuff at home — if only because minimalism always
feels awesome.
2. Avoid
getting totally lost.
My life changed forever when downloading offline
maps to your phone became a thing. Without it, I might still be
driving through winding Bosnian mountain tracks with a taxi driver who was as
lost as I was. (Do plan to get a little bit lost though — it’s far better than
seeing nothing because your head’s buried in a map).
3. Know the
deal.
Check your destination on this website.
If you’re going to a threat area alone, get wise to the specific risks and be
smart about them. Knowledge is power.
4. But… keep a
balance.
Constantly worrying about what could happen
makes it difficult to be fully present in your exciting new surroundings. Do
the basics, but know where you draw the line. A little bit of trust and
instinct go a long way.
And here are some less obvious but
equally important things I’ve learned through trial and error that keep me
smiling, grounded, and, well, less inclined to freak out.
5. Get orientated:
find food.
Find out where the supermarket is. It
is your priority and first adventure.
On my first day alone abroad, I
learned that — psychologically — it’s the most important thing for me to do.
It’s a reliable anchor, a shortcut to feeling grounded and ready to explore.
(Not to mention that hunger is the number one enemy of the alone and afraid).
I’d landed in Sydney, arrived at my
hostel, and the only thing I wanted to do was sleep. Once I’d indulged my jet
lag, and had just enough time to get totally inside my head and start freaking
out about not knowing anyone in a 9,000 mile radius… I was starving. By then,
I’d lost sight of my comfort zone — I’d stepped firmly outside it, then leapt
and bounded to the place where malfunctioning and paralysis starts to set in.
The turning point came when I dragged
myself half a mile down the road to the supermarket. Already feeling slightly
more alive and capable, and now having some semblance of my bearings, I
wandered back to my hostel and sheepishly entered the kitchen. Half an hour
later I was drinking wine from a mug with 10 other travellers and wondering why
I didn’t do this sooner.
Supermarkets are also a great way to
get to know a place. Less so in Sydney, granted, but if you’re in Budapest or
Nairobi or Havana, then they’re a wonderful whistle-stop tour of the weird and
fabulous local food, and an excuse to practice navigating your new currency.
6. Give
yourself a mini-mission.
Without structure, rules, expectations
and all those other guidelines I’ve happily left behind at home, I have a
tendency to not know what to do with myself. I’ve made a habit of choosing two
or three things in advance that I want to do when I arrive (once I’ve found the
supermarket, of course). Fill your first day with wandering to the top of that
tempting looking hill, checking out a farmers’ market, or taking a photo from
the local harbour. A small sense of purpose when you feel totally groundless is
a wonderful thing.
Then, after the first 24 hours, the
days seem to have a way of working themselves out.
7.
Communicate, even if you don’t know how.
Not knowing the local language can
feel crippling sometimes, and very lonely. But I’ve learned that communication
is always possible, because people will always want to understand you. Trust in
the universality of hand gestures and facial expressions — we all speak the
same language really. Miming can feel a bit silly, and make you keenly aware of
your language handicap; but the joy and relief of connecting with someone else
casts that into shadow.
This was never more clear to me than
when I found myself alone in Montevideo at midnight, with no cash and therefore
no bed. All the banks were closed and an hour of walking through the city
centre made it clear there were no ATMs on the street. Now close to tears, I
found a kindly shopkeeper who explained to me, with wild hand gestures, that to
get to an ATM I simply needed to swipe my credit card on the bank door (who
knew?!). Naturally, I hugged him.
There’s no need to wait till you’re in
crisis mode — it’s amazing how many people want to get to know you, even if
that means both of you waving your arms around a bit, drawing pictures, and
pointing a lot. Turns out words are over-rated: they might be more efficient,
but they’re certainly not more real or meaningful than our universal language.
8. Bring a
journal.
My notebook is where I record and
observe what’s happened, and consolidate thoughts that have had the space to
arise since I’ve been on my own. It’s a valuable practice in itself, but it’s
also wonderful to read back later: the written-down inner workings of my mind
capture and revive individual moments so much more fully than the sunset photos
that I mindlessly snapped.
I often take my journal when eating
alone at restaurants — a scenario oft-dreaded by prospective (or seasoned) solo
travellers. It’s my mini-me companion, that I can share reflections and ideas
with. Plus it seems there’s something disarming about someone who’s scribbling
in a notebook — I tend to make new friends when I get my pen and paper out in
public. Whether it’s Cusco, Krakow, Melbourne or Berlin, “what are you writing
about?” has proved to be an unexpected icebreaker. Journalling is a great way
to connect with yourself — with the added bonus that you might end up
connecting with someone else as well.
9. Follow your
nose to find your bed.
When it comes to accommodation, I like
to let instinct be my guide. My needs change, so my choices change too. If I
want to hang out with other travellers, I’ll go with hostels; if I want some
alone time, I’ll have a look on Airbnb; if I want to meet locals, I’ll check out Couchsurfing or HelpX; and if I want to
spend time in nature, I grab a tent or find a cabin. The glory of it all is
that there are no rules: the choice is yours, and you don’t have to compromise
with anyone.
I like to know where I’m sleeping the
night I land somewhere, so tend to book my first night or two before letting
instinct take over; others prefer to let things happen when they arrive. Either
way — your bed is your little temporary home, your small private safe space:
give yourself freedom to arrange what you want, when you want, and mix it up if
you need.
10. Guard your
independence (when you want to).
Sometimes, others may want to tag
along with you to your next destination. They’re at a place in their trip where
they’d like some company — but that doesn’t mean you are too. I’ve learned that
it’s cool to say ‘hey, thanks for wanting to join me, but I’m actually pretty
keen to do this next bit on my own.’ Saying it is uncomfortable, but totally
worth it.
Travelling anywhere — or indeed just
getting out of bed in the morning — is never without its risks or occasional
discomforts. But that’s certainly not a reason to hide from the world — a world
which is much safer and more welcoming than it might seem. Exploring our big
beautiful planet, and doing it on your terms, is an important and empowering
gift to give yourself. I hope this helps make it seem a little less daunting.
See the original blog post, ‘Why I travel solo’, here.
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